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I have seen Galadriel treated as just one of Sauron's many victims and saw a post today. I won't pinpoint the post but it's something I've seen a while actually.
Galadriel isn't a damsel in distress but s2 doesn't help when she's held hostage for several episodes. But that's another post.
Hm. But I didn't say she was using Halbrand the same way he was using her. I brought up that she isn't fitting into the box of gendered victim. It's gendered, that fandom attempts to place her in that box even when she doesn't fit it. I brought up her actions to support that point, not to say that she used Halbrand via the same methods and the same scale and scope that Sauron used her.
Halbrand was always Sauron but my post was about what Galadriel knew and she believed Halbrand was a human man. She didn't know he was Sauron. Within her limited knowledge, I am speaking of what she did.
Galadriel is very clear about her intentions for a human man and she says that he can redeem his bloodline, that he's special, and that fate brought them together.
She, with all her rank and position that she lists in front of the Numenoroean court, flattered and singled out a human man about how grand a purpose he would have in following her to the Southlands.
I don't think it's overly villainizing Galadriel at all.
She is upfront about her intentions, yes. But the only reason the Halbrand character doesn't cow before her focus on him unlike Celebrimbor does before an emissary of the Valar telling him how special he is and how he can surpass his family's legacy is because the Halbrand character wasn't a human at all. [Also. I know the deception Annatar does with Celebrimbor about his true goals while Galadriel never hides her goals from Halbrand. This comparison is purely about the similarity of flattery and invocation of family. Sauron always deceives about his goals and Galadriel never does. That's the kind of nuance I'd like to see more in Galadriel meta].
I also don't believe I said that Galadriel deserved to be catfished. My point remains the point I was making from the beginning, which is about Galadriel being forced into the box of the gendered female victim beyond what's onscreen.
I agree that there is a desire to see characters as purely victims and victimizers which is what I was attempting to work around with my post. My pet peeve is the ironing out of Galadriel's flaws, when I love those flaws.
I agree with you about Sauron's and Galadriel's goals in s1.
My confusion in the de-exceptionalizing of Galadriel was in direct relation to making her a pure victim of Sauron, eliding past her actions, and transmitting the exact ways in which Sauron victimized others to her, despite there being an entire season to evaluate their dynamic on its own. A queer reading of Sauron can exist without doing that. I know it can because I've read those posts and metas analyzing Sauron to Adar, Celebrimbor, and Galadriel, and agreed.
Does it matter if the goal wasn't to diminish Galadriel or make her a victim if that's the end result? If Galadriel isn't a pure victim or damsel and there's more nuance than that, she shouldn't be made into that, for whatever purpose. There are ways to do a queer Sauron reading without overly victimizing Galadriel.
But the post I saw today wasn't about a queer reading of Sauron at all so that's not the only reason Galadriel's being trope-ified in this manner.
Hm, I touched on it a little because you brought it up but I didn't want to address romantic relationships in this post because this post was evaluating Galadriel and Sauron's dynamics as they are in canon without any romantic subtext. So, this post wasn't about a straight relationship: I even mention I used the ship tag for visibility but it's a general character post.
Sauron's relationships, including with Galadriel, are not canonized so I wanted to keep it very dry about the actions characters take.
And I'm a new viewer of TROP but a longtime reader of Tolkien so I'm quite familiar with that side of the world :)
Gennifer Hutchison who's a writer for TROP said that Sauron and Galadriel's relationship is different. She called it a relationship of equals. She went on to say that it's unlike the love bombing and manipulations of Celebrimbor in the second season. Galadriel is also using Halbrand in the first season which supports her point.
So why is there the insistence to de-exceptionalize Galadriel and insist that every way Sauron used and victimized Celebrimbor or even Adar can be transmitted to her?
The showrunners said that you've gotten to know Sauron by watching Halbrand.
Why the insistence then that the show started in s2 and Annatar is the way to understand Sauron's relationships? There's two seasons to watch with no need to make things up.
Galadriel isn't just prey that the dastardly villain preyed on that many of you want to make her be. A large part of s2 included her own culpability being listed for you and a large part of s1 included her agenda to take a human she met and use him as a tool against Sauron. She was telling this man she met he was very special, destined for greater things, and that their meeting was fate. Does the fact that he turned out to be Sauron erase the power differential she believed existed between an elf of her stature and a human?
From my point of view, many are forcing Galadriel into the box of female victim beyond what's on screen.
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arcane's depiction vs. endorsement and why it flopped
~ i think i'm finally ready to complain ~
My general opinion of season 2 is potential squandered. My recent post about Viktor's storyline as an intentional tragedy lets ya'll know that I did, for the most part, enjoy his arc (hot take, I know, and I know lots of people disagree with me, and I fully understand). If he'd gotten the screen time necessary to pull it off, it would have been legendary in my book. But the lack of screen time, even in the case of the season's eventual BBEG, speaks to my greatest issue with Arcane: no commitment.
(Critical) Discussion of Jinx, Ekko, Sevika, Vi, and Viktor below!
Arcane, as a tragedy (I've said this word too many times to count smh), asks the plot, "what is the worst thing that could possibly happen to this character?" and answers in kind. This is why we get Viktor's lost agency until the very end (and like I've said in the past, I completely understand and hold space for those who dislike this route).
If we ask this same question of the following characters, the scope of loss and despair innate to Arcane's final narrative is made very clear:
Sevika: a revolutionary forever devoted to the cause, not the individual, is nominated as an individual to represent the masses in a governmental body that has no interest in her class-conscious ideal.
Ekko: the people's hero in every sense of the word who never sees the fruits of his labor/sacrifice and who goes without the acknowledgement he deserves (more than any other Arcane character).
Vi: the ultimate victim of Piltover police brutality coerced, through grief, trauma, and loss, into working for the system that oppressed her. Even Caitlyn, for all her good intentions, seems incapable of ever understanding this.
Viktor: a genius hellbent on ending the same suffering he endured at the hands of Piltover's oppression has his agency revoked, driving him to inflict the same choicelessness he endured on Zaunite innocents.
On paper, these arcs are devastatingly sensical. And we don't always need happy endings in our stories (I'd sure like them, more often than not, of course). We can and should witness the harsh realities of class oppression if we don't experience them ourselves. The writing team painstakingly crafted and foreshadowed these worst-case scenarios throughout season 1. For example, in 1x07, Ekko being immediately shot at by Marcus at the bridge confirms our suspicions that Piltover Enforcers are a lost cause, not just full of bad apples but internally broken beyond repair. It felt that, despite all the hope, this struggle was doomed, and we were careening toward something dark - "In the pursuit of great, we failed to do good."
Had these arcs been successful, audiences would be confronted with the systemic issues we see today that implicate the physical and mental health of downtrodden individuals on account of lazy, prejudiced leadership. This actively happens. It is actively happening, sans the fantasy of it all. This is where Arcane should have shined: they depict the tragedy of these characters, but DO NOT endorse it.
But Arcane chickens out and the entire thing fails. Here are the Flop Era Spark Notes:
Maddie is the egregious bad apple stereotype that absolves all other agents of the regime. She clearly is not a stand-in for Enforcers at large because, all of a sudden, they're capable of coordinated artillery strikes that are necessary to the defense of Piltover, which the viewer must suddenly and abundantly care about. So glad she died. Also, Arcane, you cannot introduce abject warfare in the last 30 minutes of your show successfully.
Jinx's "revolutionary" plot was a red herring, and Sevika humbly vying for the spot was never delivered upon. They pay lip service to the Undercity organizing, but the scene is interrupted for larger (messier) plot concerns almost immediately. No commitment. No depiction to even refrain from endorsing.
Ekko and the Firelight Tree. Clearly this was set up as a means of showing how Piltover's mistakes were physically seeping into the only sanctuary left in Zaun. Yet this is just...never resolved? If someone has some insights into this, please let me know. No depiction. No discussion about endorsement.
What could Vi specifically gain by aligning with the Enforcers/Piltover? Human connection with Cait, sure, but why return to them in 2x06? Vi's character begged all season for development, but she kept returning to her nonsensical error of her ways (looking backwards) until the very end, and this is basically what "kills" Jinx. This is a nod to her lonesomeness post 1x03, sure, but to what end? Again, why the Enforcers?!? Oh, because now that Cait has been redeemed and Sevika is in Piltover to save the day, there are no systemic issues left to fix? Sure, Riot.
WHY DEVELOP VIKTOR'S ENTIRE HEXCORE ARC OFF SCREEN?I'M ADMITTEDLY BIASED ABOUT THIS, BUT THE AMOUNT OF DISCUSSIONS I'VE HAD WITH VIKTOR NATION ABOUT THE DEGREE TO WHICH HE WAS INFLUENCED/MANIPULATED BY THE HEXCORE (now that we know Sky was a manifestation of his humanity, not her Actual Self) IS DESPICABLE. HIS COMPROMISED AGENCY NEEDS TO BE FRONT AND CENTER AND OBVIOUS, OR ELSE IT SURE SEEMS LIKE RIOT IS ENDORSING THE LACK OF AGENCY IN VIKTOR'S STORY. I shouldn't have to make 1k word posts to explain this. I'll do it because I love him with my whole heart, but still.
I begged and pleaded for months for BBEG Viktor (I'm really proud of my predictions from October), but by introducing a villain/conflict beyond the Piltover/Zaun dichotomy, Riot severed all threads of class conflict that were so rife and exciting in season 1. The proletariat and the bourgeoise will never coalesce like they did by the end of 2x09 without systemic revolution. Sevika is just one individual. Ekko's people need him. Jinx and Viktor are gone. Vi is downtrodden, and we have SO LITTLE to show for it.
In summary, we just didn't get enough explicit explanation of any character development to make Arcane-As-Tragedy successful. They did not stick the landing. The finale leaves us all with various bad tastes in our mouth. Instead of lamenting the harsh reality of oppression, I'm confused about what Riot prioritizes and agrees with, what they aim to criticize, and what they condemn.
I'll die on the hill that revoking Viktor's agency has the potential to be one of the greatest tragic hero storylines I've ever seen, but it's a lonely hill because I'm fighting against the writing team's consistent flops. At least Balayage Viktor was so gorgeous.
shameless self plug for my earlier discussion about the innate political clashes in season 1 that were abandoned for flashy fantasy fights in season 2:
#i think i'm so worried to complain because i want to preserve what i like about s2 in amber#and i truly see SO MUCH potential in it#but it boils down to shuffling the development where the viewer can't see or heart it#they'll never make me hate you jesus viktor#and sorry for the spicy caitvi take#i don't want to offend anyone by that and i'd love to hear more talk on that point#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane s2#arcane spoilers#viktor arcane#sevika#ekko#ekko arcane#jinx arcane#vi arcane#caitlyn kirraman#arcane meta#my post
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Manfred's first magic duel (EmmRook short fic)
Summary: Manfred is challenged to a duel by another apprentice.How will it go?
(Spoilers for the end of the game)
Part of my collection of post-game dometic EmmRook stories. Cross-posted on AO3 or found on my blog
“You’ll what ??” Emmrich almost spat his tea and Rook’s eyes grew as wide as saucers when Manfred made his announcement.
“Duel” The skeleton simply repeated, in the same way he would inform them he learned a new levitation spell.
In all fairness, duelling was a rather common practice in the Necropolis; friendly combats that helped watchers keep in shape and ready to fight undead or other enemies. Aside from being knowledgeable, Nevarra’s necromancers were also experts in combat, as Emmrich proved in his days with the Veilguard.
“No absolutely not. It’s too dangerous” Emmrich’s tone was final, yet Manfred protested, made bolder than he was only a few years ago from his growing independence and his schooling at the Necropolis.
“But you do it” He pointed out.
Rook felt like she was watching a teenager arguing with his father. It would be sweet if it wasn’t escalating. And if she didn’t end up dragged into the argument.
“Rook?” Manfred turned to her, almost begging
She turned to Emmrich and he crossed his arms over his chest, unable to hide his upset state, but gave a small sign of his head for her to give her opinion.
“It could be dangerous” She started and Emmerich nodded approvingly. She didn’t dare look his way as she continued. “But less advanced trainees duel so... why not? It’s not worse than hunting demons down the chambers of the Necropolis?”
Emmrich’s jaw almost comically dropped. “Assignements are a totally different matter” He replied, looking at Rook like she just gravely betrayed him.
She frowned. Her husband could have a flair for the dramatic when he was upset. And now he was arguing with her instead of their magical skeleton son. She did not like where this was going.
“Emmrich. Deep breaths” She gently suggested, like she often did when she found him overreacting.
He sighed but did as he was told, while Manfred kept looking between the two of them, oddly silent. “ Right. We’ll discuss this again tomorrow after sleeping on it. Now go read in your room” He instructed, and Manfred complied, waving them goodnight before he climed the stairs.
When Emmrich was sure that the spirit wouldn’t hear them, he sat closer to Rook on the sofa.
“Darling, when teaching Manfred discipline, we shouldn’t openly disagree in front of him” He said, though with a warmer tone than expected, taking Rook’s hand in his. He caressed her pulse point with his thumb in a soothing gesture alike to an apology for his earlier irritation.
“Sorry, but honestly you were being a bit unfair” Rook replied, placing a tender hand on his thigh. “I understand where you’re coming from but Manfred’s right, you did duel and still do. Every Necromancer does. He must already feel different from the other students so we shouldn’t aggravate him. Plus, he’s a spirit of curiosity, he’s bound to want to try new things”
Emmrich listened intently as Rook exposed her point. “Also, too many restrictions could push him to disobey you or to hide things from you. Better to support him and keep a close eye on how things go.”
Emmrich sighed. He knew that she was right. Rook had always been a voice of reason; this was part of what made her a great leader for the Veilguardn and a quality he loved deeply.
He ran a hand over his tired features.
“I worry too much don’t I?” He chuckled and Rook smiled.
“It means you care. It’s adorable”
“Davrin often said I should give Manfred more independence. He was right, and so are you”
Rook’s hand pressed a little more against his thigh. “ So … you’re not upset with me for openly disagreeing with you? ” She still felt illegitimate sometimes when it came to Manfred’s upbringing, even after so long.
He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. “Of course not darling, I never really was. My ego was just a little bruised when Manfred turned to you for permission like he could bypass me”
“Every child does that” Rook pointed out with a small private laugh before she placed a small loving peck on her husband’s lips.
- - -
On the following day, Manfred was overjoyed to learn that he was allowed to duel the student who challenged him.
Emmrich offered to help him prepare for it. Which turned out to be quite necessary. They set up in the living room, moving the coffee table aside to have more space.
“Now, first with the rules. Do you know them?” Emmrich asked, palms joined in full lecture mode.
“If can’t move or thrown out arena, lose” Manfred offered in his still approximative hold of the common tongue.
Well, that was a start.
“This is partly true” Emmrich nodded. “And tell me, how do you plan on defeating your opponent?”
“I burn him” Manfred declared with a shrug.
Rook snorted, but went back to her book when Emmrich turned to her with a chiding look. No doubt Manfred was not a spirit of compassion; directly thinking about burning his adversary. He did love fire spells for some reason. Rook could understand; fire was simple. Effective, but not subtle at all.
Emmrich pinched the bridge of his nose. “No Manfred, fire spells are prohibited, as well as any spell directly hurting the body like blood magic, or decaying spells”
Manfred deflated. “What can use?” He wondered, as if his arsenal of spells revolved only on those forbidden.
Emmrich joined his hands in front of him again, his bangles singing a song that Rook loved. “Good question. Wind spells for one, Ice spells too, Ligthning but not too high voltage” He enumerated. “It takes finesse to be an accomplished duelist you see. It is not just about brute strength. You need a strategy of some sort, quick reflexes and thinking to take advantage of your opponent’s weaknesses”
Manfred listened intently as Emmrich taught him a thing or two about classic duel strategies. The more Emmrich explained and then demonstrated, exchanging a few friendly spares and spells with his disciple, the more Rook watched fondly, grinning wide from how much fun they seemed to be having.
- - -
The day of the duel soon arrived. The light atmosphere of the large room full of marble statues dedicated to duels contrasted with Emmrich’s solemn mood. He barely slept the previous night, and had been firing last minute advices at Manfred nonstop since breakfast.
Rook was at her husband’s arm, pleased and supportive. She felt a bit nervous too, admitedly. She wanted Manfred to have a good time, and she trusted he could win. He was a talented little magic skeleton. But Emmrich’s worry was a bit communicative so she hoped everything would go smoothly.
The place reminded her of that one time when, urged by Emmrich’s colleagues, she had agreed to duel her lover for fun. The memory made her smile. She remembered the way Emmrich fought, like he was dancing with her, all elegance and precise strength.. In theory the odds of wining hab been in her favor, but Emmrich was more familiar with the duel rules and knew her so well he could spot her weaknesses easily. She was a strong mage, confident and unpredictable. but she hadn’t realized how much he had observed her techniques when back in the Veilguard. They managed to each win a long fought round, but decided to stop there, all sweaty and breathless, ending up quite dishevelled and eager to go back home to each other to diffuse the growing tension between them. The other watchers had praised the impressive show they gave, as well as their fair play of ending in a tie.
And what a night it had been then when they had found themselves dancing between the sheets afterwards.
Emmrich placed one last encouraging pat on Manfred’s shoulder before he would leave to get in position in the arena, the sound bringing Rook out of her reverie.
The skeleton looked to his mentor, determined as he announced. “I win. I make you proud”
Rook’s heart positively melted as she watched Emmrich’s expression impossibly soften with affection. She swore she saw the shiny glint of a tear in the corner of his eye.
They waved at Manfred’s figure walking away as his opponent, a flashy young human with fiery red hair entered the arena. Given the heraldry on the large gold pendant he ostentiously wore, he was surely the offspring of an old and influential noble family.
Emmrich was visibly stressed, paling a little. “I hope he won’t hurt his bones. It is a painful process to put them back in place”
Rook took his hand in hers so he'd stop biting his nails. “He will be fine. The referee will stop them if things gets too dangerous”
Luckily, today’s referee turned out to be Vorgoth, whom both Emmrich and Rook trusted and respected.
Once the fighters were in place, they saluted, and Vorgoth signed for them to begin.
Encouragements but also jeers were heard from the crowd as the two apprentices exchanged spells that were easily countered by their shields, cautiously gauging their opponent.
Manfred kept up easily, but didn’t take initiative to incapacitate his adversary, so it left the other mage free to do as he pleased. With a hit of his staff to the ground, the human apprentice conjured a slippery layer of ice on the floor before him. He then quickly cast a wind spell that Manfred couldn’t block fully, and which made him flinch and trip, the poor skeleton landing on his coccyx.
And so Manfred lost the first round.
“Damn it” Rook clicked her tongue, already very invested in the fight. “It’s okay Manfred, you’ll bounce back!” She encouraged once the arena had been returned to its original state for the spirit to get up.
Beside her, Emmrich was alarmingly quiet. His eyes were fixed on Manfred’s opponent, his expression dark and irritated. Rook only ever saw him look that way to nobles he particularly despised.
During the small break between the rounds, the red-haired apprentice took upon himself to round the arena, bowing and waving at the crowd like he owned the place.
“Yeah, see how I tripped that thing? It didn’t see it coming!” He boasted, raising his arms to encourage a group of fangirls that screamed his name like lovestruck geese. Rook felt her blood start to boil in her veins. Most watchers were very nice and tolerant to Manfred. Most but not every watcher...
Her fist clenched at her side as the young mage passed them, making sure to stop in front of Emmrich.
“How did I do Professor?” He asked with a smirk, the taunt so unsubtle in his voice that he sounded ridiculous.
“Passable” Emmrich only said, standing straighter than ever and giving him his best unbothered look before he pretended to be very interested in the state of his nails.
Vorgoth motionned for the red-haired mage to get back into position, and when he turned his back to them, Rook barely felt a very subtle hint of a magic she knew was Emmrich’s before the noble’s son’s foot hedged and he fell face first onto the ground.
A roar of laughters rose from the crowd as Manfred’s opponent quickly rose, his face red from anger and embarassment. He did not have time to question what happened, for Vorgoth urged him to join him, least he be disqualified.
“He should tend to that weak left ankle” Emmrich commented lowly, only for Rook to hear, earning a low chuckle from her. For all his kindness, Emmrich could be mean and vindicative, even borderline petty when truly upset. And he hated bullies "I have no respect for show offs" He whispered to his wife, trying to justify his childish action when he saw the judging glint in her amused gaze. She loved when he was being mischevious, enjoying it even more for how rare of an occurrence it was.
“You reap what you sow…” Rook commented with a shrug, making Emmrich smile tightly.
Then the second round started.
The red-haired mage’s bruised ego made him more aggressive. More dangerous but also more sloppy. The crowd was wild, urging the mages to fight dirty, so far from the expected etiquette and chic of the Mourn Watch. Ah, youth…
Manfred blocked and dodged each brutal but predictable blow with ease. Had his opponent been more observant, he would have noticed the subtle change in hue of Manfred’s shield as the spirit used each attack aimed at him to charge it with energy.
"Get him Manfred!” Rook shouted as loud as possible, joining in the frenzy of comments from the crowd, making her husband start from her rowdy behaviour.
Upon hearing her words, Manfred hissed in determination and released all the energy accumulated in his shield in a thundering shockwave that sent his opponent flying, then crashing at the very edge of the arena.
Loud clapping and impressed whistles were heard as the crowd easily changed favourites, except for the group of fangirls too busy checking if their champion was alright. Turned out he was, save for a few bruises to his body and to his large ego.
“Oh dear, that was bright but a bit of an overkill” Emmrich commented lowly, barely able to hide the huge grin splitting his lips.
Vorgoth announced Manfred as the winner of the second round, and Emmrich politely clapped, trying to appear less invested than he truly was. For Rook, her husbands’s reactions were almost as much an entertaining show to watch as the actual duel.
With the two opponents now at a tie, the stakes of the third round were high, and the ambiance of the room became electryfying. Vorgoth had to calm a few overly enthusiastic students and order them to step back from the edges of the arena before he allowed the final round to begin.
“You little…!” Manfred’s adversary swore before he released a blast of burning greenish light.
The attack surprised Manfred, for it ate away at his shield, wild and stubborn. The little skeleton was forced to focus hard to dissipate the growing fire that hindered his vision more than it burnt him.
“Veilfire!” Emmrich gasped, outraged “Fire spells are forbidden, that’s suppose to include veilfire!’” He loudly disapprouved, stepping closer to the arena, but stopping when Vorgoth turned in his direction in a silent warning not to interfere.
The apprentice took Manfred’s distraction as an opportunity to charge with a hand on hand attack, swinging his staff hard at the skeleton. Manfred managed to block it with his own staff, but pure force was not his strong point given he had no muscles to back it up. His hold on his staff faltered under the strength of his opponent, and the spirit’s weapon was thrown to the ground out of his reach.
A panicked whimper escaped Emmrich whose hands reflexively covered his mouth in a way that reminded Rook of unpleasant memories. Internally, she urged Manfred to get a grip and do something. She knew he could. He was brave and clever and strong, contrary to what his adversary might think.
Under the crowd’s eager eyes, Manfred’s fists started glowing blue with an ice spell, and before his bones got hit with a second blow of his opponent’s staff, he punched him square in the jaw. Unelegant but deadly effective. The redhaired human fell to his knees and Vorgoth calmly announced that the skeleton had won.
After recovering from the shear surprise of the action, Emmrich and Rook exulted.
“Bravo Manfred!” Emmrich clapped and Rook whistled alongside the excited crowd. ‘You rock little man! Serves him right!’ she thought she heard someone say, and the thought that Manfred could have friends here to support him made her heart squeeze in her chest.
“That’s cheating!” The defeated apprentice accused, massaging his jaw as he slowly got up.
“So is using veilfire” Emmrich commented loudly from outside the arena, sending Vorgoth a dark glare.
“Technically only his spell collided with your face” Vorgoth declared, looking down onto the smaller human.
The redhaired boy protested but Vorgoth’s deep voice interrupted him. “Humbly accept your defeat young apprentice”
The younger mage lowered his head and bolted away from the room, followed by his weeping fanclub.
Manfred happily joined his caretakers outside the arena, a spring to his steps. “Yeah! I won!”
“What a quick reaction Manfred! That was unexpectedly clever! But where did you learn to do that?” Emmrich asked, more enthralled than skeptical about this unusual move that he never suggested during their training.
“Did like Rook do with bad guys!” Manfred excitedly replied and Rook flushed.
She recalled she had a bad habit of punching people in the face back when she was irritated by having Solas in her mind and overstressed from the prospect of the world ending.
“Well I suppose all examples can be beneficial” Emmrich chuckled, bringing Rook closer by her waist.
He then turned to Manfred again, a warm smile on his lips. “I am so very proud of you”
If skeletons could purr from happiness, Manfred did right there and then.
#emmrich x rook#emmrook#emmrich volkarin#emmrich romance#manfred the skeleton#manfred dragon age#veilguard spoilers#veilguard fanfic#dragon age fanfiction#emmrich fanfic
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So for your Carmen Stan au how did Ford find out about Stan being brainwashed?
Okay so this ends up being different than in CS BECAUSE we have the added character of Alex, who’s their nephew so when the whole brainwashing and kidnapping thing happens Team Red would obviously be the first to know.
Ford and Fiddleford would realise something was amiss and are actually concerned for a while since Stan suddenly disappeared off grid and stopped appearing for his capers and all. At this stage I think they’ve both come to an agreement that Stan’s intentions were good (much like how Jules and Chase had believed in Carmen near the end) so the sudden inactivity from Stan was already alarming. Ford tries to rationalise to himself that Stan’s probably busy even though his gut screams at him that something is wrong.
It kinda sucks for him since he doesn’t have a proper way to contact Stan and they only ever see each other if Stan reaches out first or if they run into each other during one of his capers. Stan also hasn’t been checking in on Tate or Fiddleford like he liked to do sometimes so that was another thing. Hence the long silence brings Ford some anxiety. It wasn’t the first time he lost sight of Stan (happens all the time due to the secrecy but Ford at least has tabs based on report sightings of Stan from around the world) but it’s been like…ages and now that they were kinda on even/good terms Ford feels like something is wrong but he doesn’t know what.
When Stan finally resurfaces, Ford and Fiddleford are relieved only to be bewildered when Stan steals and doesn’t return the items to Fiddleford or like authorities. They find the behaviour suspicious but they could never get close enough to confront him, which was another red flag since Stan always interacts with them even on his missions (like a simple greeting or banter or teasing). So Stan avoiding them AND taking things but not returning them like his usual routine is very very weird.
Ford stresses over this change for a long time. He has no idea why his brother suddenly seems to change ways and change sides apparently. Stan not acknowledging him and actively avoiding him (cause Stan just thinks of Ford and Fidds as authorities after him now) hurts Ford because he has no idea why he’s being ignored either when they were on good terms already.
Ford eventually finds out from Alex. The poor boy had been stressed out of his mind in a dilemma on whether he should tell the rest of the family or just keep it to Team Red. Like I mentioned in a previous post here, he faces constant dilemmas regarding keeping Stan’s business away from the rest of the family, or to involve them as help. Eventually the whole brainwashing situation gets hopelessly bad and stressful and after discussion with Carla and the rest of Team Red, Alex believed his dad and uncle Ford deserves to know what’s actually going on.
Alex calls for a family meeting and Ford visits Shermie’s place and both brothers are shocked at what Alex reveals to them. This is also how Shermie finds out that Alex is Stan’s hacker and Ford is stunned that the entire time he comes over to rant about Stan, Alex had been part of it from the start. There’s a brief moment of Ford calling Alex out for being the reason Stan was able to escape his capture a couple times and it’s a bit hilarious. Shermie and Ford are obviously super caught off guard by the revelation that Alex was helping Stan the entire time and had somehow kept quiet over it for ages but then the seriousness of the situation finally settles in and both brothers are horrified.
Ford is absolutely grief stricken that his brother’s mind was brainwashed before he goes completely furious because how dare some evil organisation (that they’re just learning about now because Alex and Team Red decided it was time to tell the family everything) try to use his brother and mess with his mind. He immediately demands more information from Team Red so he can find a way to help.
When he gets back and meets with Fiddleford again he explains everything as Fiddleford is devastated. They both actually meet up with Team Red in this au cause Alex kinda has to let them (Shermie demanded him to do so) and also Ford wouldn’t take no for an answer, saying that Stan is his twin and he has rights to help in fixing the problem and saving his brother. Ford finding out about the situation definitely puts him on edge because his brother is hurt and not in his right mind and Ford wants to help but he has no idea where to start and he feels something akin to grief and fury creep up his throat.
They eventually learn how Stan got brainwashed (the use of the memory gun) and Ford actually gets mad at Fiddleford for a short while (mainly due to high tensions and emotions running on high from everything) and blames him for the creation of such a device before immediately regretting his words and apologising dw. Ford secretly fears that Stan’s mind can’t be restored back to normal but he buries it deep down and hyperfixates on helping Team Red find a solution to the problem, even bringing it up with ACME to get their resources and help.
He eventually helps in building the device to bring back Stan to his right state of mind but there’s definitely a lot of complicated emotions in the process. Mainly Ford having to grapple with losing his brother and desperately trying to fix him and bring him back cause ngl they’ve finally reached an understanding and he’d die before he let some stupid evil organisation rob him of a proper chance to actually sit down and talk with his brother (since they haven’t rlly actually had a long deep convo and mainly just run into each other for their missions).
#csxgf au#gravity falls x carmen sandiego au#ford pines#standord pines#Stan pines#Stanley pines#gravity falls aus#gravity falls#fiddleford mcgucket#shermie pibes#gravity falls stanford#gravity falls stanley#I might write the confrontation…#maybe..#I love the whole brainwashing thing guys it’s so fun#thanks for the ask!!
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"broke all of his stuff"
cartman gave kyle aids, and while kyle did laugh at cartman it WAS ironic that cartman was always threatening to give kyle aids and then got aids himself, kyle was not to blame for cartman getting aids and he wasnt mocking him, cartman's situation is ironic and thats intented on the creators side, kyle is meant to be a stand in for the audience (since only the audience would remember cartman's aids gag).
"stole his girlfriend"
kyle didn't set out to "steal" heidi from cartman, he recognized that she was in an abusive relationship and wanted to help (because he related to her unbalanced power dynamic with cartman, hence the whole "we are all going out with cartman"). although i do agree he should have stayed out of it, i don't believe this is enough to justify cartman's harassment towards kyle.
"sabotaged his happy future with a wife and kids"
cartman was planning on murdering 10-year-old kyle, and at the end it isn't even kyle or any of the boys who ended up activating the time traveling machine, it's cartman's baby who does after shouting "Fuck you, Uncle Kyle!". It is the hatred against kyle that Cartman himself had instilled into his own family that ended up wiping them from existence. It might not be super on the nose that cartman had been badmouthing kyle to his family even since before reuniting with him, but it is definitely hinted at in the Post Covid special given that Yentl recognized kyle right away and didn't seem happy about him.
"REFUSED to help him when he was sucked into a parallel dimension"
kyle wasn't looking when cartman was sucked into the portal though, he was skeptic about the whole thing so he probably didn't even think cartman was in danger. cartman also tends to overreact or emotionally manipulate the boys so it is pretty reasonable that kyle is doubtfull whenever cartman asks for help. kyle is also usually critized for "sticking his nose where he shouldnt", so i actually think it's nice when he gets to walk away from things tbh. Also, Kyle isnt responsible for cartman, its not his job to care for him or do anything whenever he is in trouble.
"still kept fucking harassing him for being fat even when cartman stopped making jew jokes for the most part"
did you skip the cupid ye episode? cartman has definitely not grown out of his antisemetisism or harassment of kyle quite yet.
"and ya'll have the nerve to shame cartman just for lightly teasing kyle at the end????"
people are allowed to have their own takes on the specials. i personally did like the final punchline even if kyle was the butt of the joke because it was very in character for cartman.
"the reason why this episode was such a breath of fresh air was bc it finally showed kyle being nice to cartman for once and being a good friend BACK"
there are multiple other instances of kyle being nice to cartman or helping him out, this isnt the only time this has happened. off the top of my head i can list off a few episodes here: jewpacabra, tegrity farms (when kyle tried to pay off cartman's and butters debt to some vape dealer), mexican joker, "help, my teenager hates me!", manbearpig, etc. the biggest difference between kyle and cartman when they are helping each other out is that cartman is often forced into helping kyle out (tonsil trouble, mexican joker if you squint, since stan got cartman deported) or is doing so in order to make up for some atrocious thing he has done to kyle previously (mexican joker); on the other hand, kyle is often helping cartman out of a shitty situation that cartman put himself in (tegrity farms, jewpacabra, manbearpig, its a jersey thing, etc).
"cartman helps kyle with shit all the time too i mean deadass remember when he got out of the hospital bed to save kyle from the PC people????"
while there are moments where cartman's actions end up benefiting kyle or the other boys, what happens more often is that cartman realizes helping out the others will result in something beneficial for himself, just like in the very example you provided. kyle says so himself in the end of the episode "It just seems to me like we all lost in this, and that the only person who won was you" his opinion may be biased but, at the end, cartman did get to pull a very racist scheme with the whole mexican pregnant women and tacos thing and faced no consequences for this in particular and, to top it all of, it isn't this particular scheme what solves the problem, it's kyle deciding to succumb to peer pressure that fixes everything.
"yet, kyle didn't appreciate it and still broke all of cartman's stuff"
correct me if im wrong but if this is referring to that one time kyle threatened to break cartman's xbox then we are talking about "tounsil trouble" (12x1), which happens before cartman "saving" kyle from the PC people in Stunning and Brave (19x1) so it's imposible for kyle to "appreciate" something that hasnt happened yet.
"and tried sabotaging his relationship the next season"
cartman self-sabotaged his relationship with heidi, he had already attempted murder and kidnapping on her and successfully jeopardized her health by tricking her into eating junk food and then fatshamed her for putting on weight.
"kyle going out of his way to help cartman with a weight loss drug is honestly the LEAST he could do"
considering how many times cartman has endangered kyle's own health, i dont really think so. even if they were both on even terms, no one really owes you any help to get your own medical records straight (except for the health system itself but that's besides the point).
"to make up for all the times cartman was nice to him and tried helping him and he was an ungrateful little bitch about it."
like i said, kyle has helped out cartman just as many times, and kyle actually does it out of the kindness of his heart, unlike cartman who is usually trying to get something for himself.
"that's why i'm rlly not that mad abt cartman making that ginger jew joke at the end"
this is the only thing i agree with from this whole rant.
"at least they're even now"
i think cartman would end up getting screwed over a thousand times more if kyle tried to make things "even".
ya'll forget how much cartman unconditionally supports kyle
ok so i HATED how after the end of obesity special all the people who shit on cartman while blindly supporting anything kyle does were all like "ugh i can't believe cartman insulted kyle even after how much he helped him in the episode!1!1 😤" or "wow kyle is such a good person he's still willing to help cartman even after everything cartman's done!1!1!" like ok i'm gonna stop you right there LOL. are ya'll forgetting how much of an ASS kyle's been to cartman the past few seasons?!?!? (and rlly the whole series lol) that piece of shit deadass broke all of his stuff, stole his girlfriend, sabotaged his happy future with a wife and kids, REFUSED to help him when he was sucked into a parallel dimension where everyone is replaced with a diverse woman, and still kept fucking harassing him for being fat even when when cartman stopped making jew jokes for the most part. and ya'll have the nerve to shame cartman just for lightly teasing kyle at the end???? the reason why this episode was such a breath of fresh air was bc it finally showed kyle being nice to cartman for once and being a good friend BACK. ya'll are forgetting the fact that cartman helps kyle with shit all the time too i mean deadass remember when he got out of the hospital bed to save kyle from the PC people???? yet, kyle didn't appreciate it and still broke all of cartman's stuff and tried sabotaging his relationship the next season LOL. so yeah kyle going out of his way to help cartman with a weight loss drug is honestly the LEAST he could do at this point to make up for all the times cartman was nice to him and tried helping him and he was an ungrateful little bitch about it. that's why i'm rlly not that mad abt cartman making that ginger jew joke at the end bc i mean at least they're even now and it's rlly nowhere near as bad as all the unappreciative ways kyle has tried to screw cartman over after cartman was there for him.
#south park#kyle brovlofski#sp cartman#sp kyle#sp kyle broflovski#sp eric cartman#eric cartman#this isnt anti-kyman or anything#i dont mind any ships tbh#i only care about kyle lol#im also not saying the special or ending were unfair to kyle#kyle's a tough boy he can take a few mean comments#thats why i love him lol
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hi i know you got an ask really recently but can you maybe do the silly sashimi (seb) x a suicidal reader??? but also reader is really silly and the first thing reader says is “hear me out…” or something??? i love your writing :3
thank you so much reader, i greatly appreciate it (っᵔ◡ᵔ)っ(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶). and don't worry, i got you.
expendable
sebastian solace x reader ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ sfw
artwork: artwork is NOT mine. art is by @miittchan on tumblr, youtube, and twitter. go check out their work and socials, promise it's worth your time.
PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT IF THIS TOPIC IS HEAVY FOR YOU. MAKE SURE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF ALWAYS ૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟ ა
summary: escaping the ghastly prison that was the hadal blacksite was probably the best thing to ever happen to you. so why, if that was the case, did you want to go back?
cw: sebastian x su!cidal!fem!reader, takes place after finishing the game, still in the pressure universe, same timeline as this, mentions of trauma and slight suicidal thoughts, reader is coping, angst and comfort too of course, reader wants to...go back to the hadal blacksite?, reader just misses a certain someone too much, trying to find peace amidst the chaos, no spicy scene for this one
wc: 1.4k
a.n: i think i would want to go back too ngl. also this was just my take on the prompt. BUT, if you were looking for something more like sad reader and sebastian comforting them, i got you too with that headcanon. just lmk!! :)
· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·
"and last but definitely not least. hear me out..."
you place a picture of him, post transformation and all, onto the cake.
"who's this? he kind of looks like the guy who uhm, you know," your friend stared at you intently, hoping you would get the gist. when you didn't answer, they continued. "back in 2013, remember? with the nine peo-"
"no, no, it's just someone i met at the blacksite," you quickly interjected, forgetting that urbanshade had unjustly faked his death and hid the true story of sebastian solace from the world. "and no, that guy didn't murder them. he was wrongly convicted. just like i was," whispering the last part, you grab forks from the kitchen drawer set the cake onto the dining table.
"right, i'm sorry," they whispered softly, guilt creeping into their voice. hoping to lighten the mood, your friend added, "but no, i’m actually hearing you out on this one. did you know this fish creature personally?"
the two of you take a seat and start munching on the delicious red velvet 'hear-me-out' cake presented in front of you. "you could say that," you smiled cheekily, causing the both of you to burst out into a fit of giggles.
just then, a sharp pain similar to tiny needle stabbings pulse through your upper abdomen and into your chest. a series of flashbacks creep their way into your mind.
𓂃 𓈒𓏸
you’re escorted down the submarine ramp and shoved onto a platform. “just keep walking. if you hear anything strange, hide.”
𓂃 𓈒𓏸
an ear-piercing screech echoes in the distance. you rush to the nearest locker, slamming the door shut just as a pink aura sweeps past.
𓂃 𓈒𓏸
you crawl through a vent and find a small storage room at the end. turning right, you stumble upon a strange fish creature, causing you to jump back. "ah, another expendable," he yawns, unamused. "come in, fishbait. welcome to the shop."
𓂃 𓈒𓏸
volus lunara's searchlights close in. nervous and trembling, you fail the skill-check, getting shocked by the generator. stunned, you lie there as the beam focuses on you. your eyes widen in horror as the monster's grapples pierce your body. this wouldn't be the first time you've experienced this. you'd die a hundred more deaths.
𓂃 𓈒𓏸
hurt and wounded, you collapse in a corner. your head spins as the distinct sound of chains dragging on the ground fills the air. resigned to your fate, you limp toward a corner, exhausted. suddenly, someone grabs you and carries you to a seemingly safe room. “what are you doing, fishbait?” a voice hisses. only one person ever called you that. “why didn’t you move? you could’ve died,” sebastian snaps, his voice tinged with anger, but there's a hint of worry beneath it.
𓂃 𓈒𓏸
you and sebastian are lying together in the room behind his shop, an unexpected moment of vulnerability. the two of you open up about your pasts. he shares the details of his tragic demise, a painful history that he’s never spoken of before. in the quiet of the room, no longer caring about the consequences, you lean forward and plant a kiss on his cheek. sebastian tilts his head, confusion crossing his face, but there's something else there too—something unreadable.
𓂃 𓈒𓏸
a document? "the saboteur," it reads at the top. as you continue reading, the details unfold—now you understand why he’s been given that name.
𓂃 𓈒𓏸
after days of giving him the silent treatment, sebastian solace finally breaks. finding out that he was the cause of your repeated deaths weighs heavily on you. desperate to fix things, he starts a pillow fight, and through laughter, the tension melts away. eventually, the two of you make up, finding comfort in the shared moment of forgiveness.
𓂃 𓈒𓏸
you try again and again, until one fateful day, you finally make it to the end. as you dry off from your underwater escapade and step into the submarine, a realization hits you. you’ve reached your freedom, but what about sebastian?
𓂃 𓈒𓏸
as you turn from the submarine to search for him, sebastian suddenly appears right behind you. confused, you stare at him. "sebastian, come with me. we can have our freedom and get revenge on urbanshade." he looks at you, his expression sad and melancholy. "i can't go, fishbait."
"yes, you can. come with me, please," you insist.
"look at me. what do i look like to you?" he asks, and you don't see anything wrong with him.
he explains that he has bigger plans, ones that will lead to him meeting you again someday—in human form. you refuse to leave, even as the submarine's hatch starts to close. but in the last moment, he pushes you in. the hatch slams shut, and you’re engulfed in complete darkness.
𓂃 𓈒𓏸
your pulse rushes and eyesight narrows. the room is spinning and the fork in your hands falls onto the table, alarming your friend. your head drops into your hands and you start panting.
"hey, you okay?" they drop the piece of cake with jake sully's avatar on it that they're eating and rush towards you.
"i need space," you shoot at them, feeling their hands on your shoulder. yes, you do feel bad for pushing a friend away but the feeling was too overwhelming. "please, i need space," you repeated again, softly this time.
"yes, i understand." filled with worry, they pat your back one last time before taking one last bite of the cake and grabbing their jacket from the couch. "i'll be back tomorrow, okay? we can finish eating the cake then. just text me when you're feeling better. and please take care of yourself."
nodding your head in acknowledgement, the front door finally closes. you get up, massaging your temples, to lock the front door. your heart is still pounding and face is flushing. you rush to your room and close the door behind you before jumping on your bed. the white sheets engulf your frame as you finally allowed yourself to release the tension you've been feeling all this time.
you desperately scream into your pillow. "this isn't fair at all." you continue to cry, the sound of your soft sobs being the only thing filling the pitch-black room.
months of being trapped in the never-ending death loop in the limbo of the hadal blacksite changed you. now that you were free, nobody believed your testimony against urbanshade. after all, it was one escapee prisoner versus a well-known corporate company. sure, you had your freedom, but the guilt of knowing the company's darkest secrets—the horrid, inhumane experiments they conducted on their captives, the trauma of each death and reset—was consuming you. you had no one to confide in. the only person who truly understood you was still trapped in that very place you purely and vehemently loathed.
expendable. that's what you were. that's what urbanshade had labeled you.
dispensable, nonessential, and powerless.
"i don't want to do this anymore," you softly whisper into the void of darkness consuming you.
...
...
...
...
...
what the hell are you talking about?
you shot up. what the fuck. was that-
please tell me you're not giving up that easily, fishbait.
yeah, no, this was definitely your long-awaited delirium. you were going crazy. the physical and mental stress was driving you insane. but even so... even if it was you finally reaching your limit or even a suppressed memory of him, sebastian solace had promised you that he would see you again one day.
you took a deep breath, steadying yourself in the crushing darkness. maybe you were losing it, maybe that voice was just your fractured mind. but if there was even a sliver of truth, you couldn’t give up. not now. not ever.
"fine, sebastian," you whispered, standing to your feet and wiping your tears. "if you’re still out there, i'll find you. and if this is just my own madness, then i’ll survive long enough to make it back to you—human form or not."
giving up was a harsh reality. but so was fighting back. either way, you knew you couldn't stop. you wouldn’t stop. not until freedom was real for both of you.
you made up your mind. you were going back to the one place in the world you dreaded the most — urbanshade's hadal blacksite.
· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·
#junovae#letters to juno#sebastian solace#sebastian x reader#sebastian pressure#pressure#pressure roblox#sebastian solace x reader
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rules updates! ( 2024-11-29 )
Hey everyone, I decided to take down my previous post since I don’t want to stir up unnecessary tension or upset anyone further. I’ve been feeling a bit emotional lately, especially with everything going on—today and tomorrow, I’m participating in the local Women’s Walk, which is really important to me.
Before anyone jumps in with "Don’t bash men!"—let me be clear: I’m not. I’ll always use my voice to advocate for women’s issues, and that’s something I won’t shy away from.
That said, I wanted to share some updated rules and boundaries moving forward.
Respect how others ship. If you take issue with the way someone chooses to ship, please don’t follow me. People are entitled to enjoy their ships without being judged or policed.
Female / Male characters are more than their ship potential. If you only engage with ( in this case ) female characters based on how "shippable" they are, this space isn’t for you. Female muses deserve to be seen as whole, complex individuals, not just as romantic options.
No assumptions about shipping. Just because my muse interacts with yours doesn’t mean it’s romantic—or that it’s even on the table. For example, I’ve followed single-ship blogs with the sole intention of exploring a platonic dynamic. Let’s approach each interaction with open communication and respect.
Lastly, huge thanks to @milleroptimism and @roznrot for sharing some excellent points about these topics. If you’re not already following their OC'S, I highly recommend checking them out!
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since we’re now talking about the racism in the phandom, i’m very glad it’s being brought to light so thank you to @dapg-otmebytheballs @demonqueenart and everyone else talking about this, i want to talk about cancel culture.
now i’m as white as they come, so before reading any of this i need you all to read the posts made by some of the people starting this conversation. here’s some links. xx xx xx xx xx
the reason i want to bring this up is because it’s something i noticed in a lot of the posts bringing up the behavior that dnp have/have had. its bizarre to me that we as a society, but especially we as a fandom, feel the need to disclose that bringing up problematic behavior isn’t an attack or call to ‘cancel’ someone!
to be able to have an open discussion where people CAN evolve and learn, bad behaviors need to be brought up without the immediate assumption that the person talking about it wants to bring harm to the other.
i am not here to defend dan and phil, they are well old enough to have these realizations on their own and stand for their actions, but, without the space to point out these behaviors, there will be no change. if these questions are being brought up within fandom spaces, why assume that the person means harm? excuse my metaphor but why would they set fire to their own house? i can understand wanting to take something with a grain of salt if it was coming from someone not in the fandom spaces at all, or someone not familiar with dan and phil whatsoever, but since it is the fans bringing this up, the absolute least you can do is believe them and listen.
wanting to see change is far from the same as wanting to see someone ‘canceled’ or lose their platform. these discussions are good and important to have, and i want to again thank everyone who has taken time of their days to speak up about this. it’s labor you shouldn’t have to do, and i really hope that we as a fandom learn from this. i know i will.
#if these conversations make you uncomfortable i strongly urge you to take a minute to reflect on why#im positive there are more people making posts about this but unfortunately ive only seen the ones tagged#if youve seen/written anything else; absolutely feel free to link it/tag them#and as always. support and uplift the people that start these kinds of conversations. they’re doing a kindness by educating so be grateful#additionally: if there’s anything i said here that was incorrect or in bad taste or if me saying anything at all is wrong! please do#do tell me. my intention here is to highlight and support and if im doing it the wrong way i’ll happily correct#the goal here is to create a welcoming space to ALL and if we cant talk to each other then whats the point#phandom#dan howell#phil lester#dan and phil#nebulae.speaks
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3.13 | ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʟᴏʀᴅꜱ
link to the post I accidentally wound up prattling endlessly about in the tags 💀
#doctor who#tenth doctor#martha jones#david tennant#freema agyeman#(good god. without even meaning to I went into 'psycho stream of consciousness tagging' mode. whoops)#always thinking of that one post#where OP mentions how the writing tries to make it seem like Ten looked right through Martha/etc#which is a good concept for demonstrating his grief. but also isnt what we really see throughout S3#(not saying he wasn't a grieving MESS because he was. but he's a multi-faceted character and he can grieve AND value Martha simultaneously)#but we see such fierce protective instinct+trust; a bond between them that obviously isn't some one-sided affair#+ his clear intent to impress her/be admired and respected by her (apropos the post that inspired this sentiment)#but RTD obviously isn't the most infallible of writers#*cough* [list of reasons I cut down b/c long] *cough*#He can make Martha say “he's not seeing me/he doesn't look at me” but then you just watch with your eyes and you get a different story#It's like the opposite of when Moffat tries to make you believe someone is super important through bold claims without showing his work#instead RTD tries to make you believe Ten is functionally blind to Martha's existence while showing numerous examples of the contrary#then bring in the novels+myspace blog+cartoon that he all signed off on. Which tie together to create a canon backdrop#basically I said all of that to say this—#it's the whole reason I had to make this blog to get this sort of stuff off my chest (even if it's just for me sometimes)—#Ten not only SAW Martha—he trusted+respected+enjoyed+adored her. And it's a good thing#it doesn't cheapen his grief. I feel like people must think it does which is why I constantly see bad unnecessary takes about them#it just means that Martha was SO important to him and it's ok. they had a killer friendship outside the unrequited minutiae and it's ok#there's even a comic where 'someone' makes him believe she's Martha and he makes her change her appearance because “it's still too raw”#Just saying you don't say that sort of thing about someone whose existence you're all blasé about#Martha already gets fucked by the narrative in enough ways without people totally missing her significance in the Doctor's life#you don't have to ship them to appreciate them on a deeper level#anyway. fuck. if you actually read all of these then I'm so sorry#creating this blog has taught me that there are only like two people who feel the same way about tenmartha matters and it’s fine 😂#but if I didn’t give myself an outlet it would probably form a tumor SO there we are then
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Yak and I are fake boyfriends. Yes, we started like that. But you know something? Yak is a huge green flag for me.
When I'm with Yak, I never question myself if I'm good enough. It's Yak who makes me realize how worthy I am.
Right now Yak is my peace of mind. I still don't understand why I wasted those eight years with you. Because right now, I really love myself when I'm with Yak.
Thank you, Yak, for coming into my life.
It's my pleasure. Alright then. Let's go home.
[Wandee Gooddday, 1.09]
#hands hands hands#it's always them with the hands#that first shot is so so so important to me#the way Dee lets go so slowly and puts the pressure on Yak's fingers to reassure him#and how Yak is still reaching for him and tries not to let go#i love them an unhealthy amount#i want to put them in my pocket and keep them forever#dee having these realisations and speaking them out loud was such a relief and so satisfying#dee letting go of yak's hand so he could take it again with such clarity of purpose and intent was so important#he wasn't just hanging on to yak because he was using yak and the fake relationship as a shield anymore#he was actively and purposefully choosing yak in the clearest way he could show it#i should probably write an actual post about that but it's late#i keep losing sleep to make gifs haha ugh#anyway i'm very normal about this show good night#wandee goodday#wandee goodday ep9#yakdee#yoryakwandee#wandeeyoryak#mia gifs wandee goodday things#mia gifs drama things#mia gifs things
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I am actually. I am so emotional over the Salazar parents and I need to share this to tumblr too.
A lot of stories where the MC is adopted I feel. Either dismiss the biological parents and the impact they have on the kid's life, or makes them evil and abusive, framing the loss of the bio parents as a good thing, or at least something we shouldn't think about just look at this new family.
But Genrex doesn't do that. From the start, Rex wanted to find out more about his parents - it's one of his primary character motivations, next to helping people. He loves them, even though he doesn't know them.
And the more he finds out about them, the more he realizes they loved him. Rylander is consumed by guilt but as Rex's first connection to his pre-Event life, the first thing he does is hug him. And when he tells Rex about his parents, the two things Rex knows is that 1) they were scientists, and 2) that when he was in danger, they were desperate enough to use their secret, experimental technology to save him. Technology built from their desire to help the world, to save countless lives and end countless suffering.
And then. When he finds out that they were dead, he doesn't stop caring. It'd be so easy, too, to tie it up there - his parents were good people, he got his answer about them, the end. But they don't. He doesn't. Because the show is saying once again that they are his parents. He still calls them mom and dad, even as the show makes it clear Holiday and Six adopted Rex as their son. Even as the show even parallels Six and One with Rex and Six (and I will talk about that more later if I don't forget, trust me), to really drive home how much they're family. Rex even says he considers the two of them family, and later that he considers Noah, Claire and Annie family.
He has new family, the show tells us, but his old family still matters to him. He's upset that he never has the chance to meet his parents, that everything he hears about them, about his time with them, is secondhand knowledge. It tells us clearly that not only does Rex still love them, but that he still wants to know them. And everything we find out about them reinforces the love that they had for each other.
We see Abuela and the family in Mexico, who connect him to his birth family and tell him that he was so loved back then, and still is now. We see their office in Abysus through Rex's eyes. The picture of him and his dad on his desk. The drawing Rex drew, proudly pinned to the wall.
We see it in the familiarity of the drawing. That that robot, that build, was what Rex created when he was lost and scared and alone - that it was made to keep him safe. That it first appeared in his mind in a place he felt safe.
The show says, tenderly and softly, that the love is still there. That the fact these people died was nothing but a tragedy, that their love is a big part of what made Rex who he is today - that every molecule in his body is filled with their final gift to him. That every time he cures someone, every time he uses a build, every time he makes a machine - we see the love that they had for him.
And the way he quietly absorbs his father's face. The way he freezes and whispers "Mamá?" when he finds out Zag-Rs has their mother's voice. The fact that she even has her voice as a testament to Caesar's love, too - that it was meant to bring comfort and safety. The way Rex yells at Caesar when he finds out they have a family property, a connection to their past, the way he fights to protect it.
And, none of this takes away still from Six and Holiday being Rex's family too. None of this removes the work either set of parents did for him, the love either set has - the show says that it was unfair that the Salazar parents were lost. That Six and Holiday are not replacements, that they still love him as parents but play different roles in his life. They can not, and have no desire to, replace the Salazars. But Rex needs parents, he needs protectors, and so they will do what they can for him - at first out of necessity, to keep this kid they barely know safe, but then out of love. They aren't replacing what was lost, but are doing their best to do what Rex's bio parents would do. And they do mess up in it - they mess up in ways Rex's bio parents might not have. Six is clearly bad with showing affection, affection we saw the Salazars give Rex so easily, and Holiday is overworked and stressed constantly, sometimes breaking under the pressure and snapping at Rex and Six, things we never saw the Salazars do.
It's just. It's about how sometimes things will not be the same. They will be different. That doesn't mean the people you lost aren't still with you.
#This is also. Why I dislike the 'Rex was secretly made for the nanite experiments the accident was a lie' theory so much#Bc it assigns malice where the show says over and over again there was only love.#That this was only ever a tragedy of good people whose good intentions were manipulated and twisted.#And I think giving them something shitty to have done in the past especially goes against the message of the show's perspective on adoption#The family we choose is not always stronger than the family we are born to. Sometimes they are equal in different ways.#Rex's bio parents are gone but not replaced. They have also shaped who he is#Six and Holiday are just picking up where they left off. Because they have to.#Also I don't like the theory that Rex's parents are EVOs somewhere bc I think it diminishes the impact of the tragedy too.#I get. Wanting them to have a happy ending. But I think it's important to realize that this is the closest they can have to a happy ending.#Some things cannot be replaced. Or fixed. Sometimes life takes what we love and what loves us. And that is okay.#It is okay to be upset at that and it is okay to never fully move on.#'What about Caesar?' I have. Another post's worth of thoughts about him.#But I think he's also a character who is defined more by Rex by their relation and defined by the story by his guilt#I think he is the closest thing Rex has to a shitty bio family member and he is shitty in plenty of ways#But he's also a parallel to Rex in a lot of ways. He fails where Rex succeeds bc of it.#generator rex#genrex#Anyways. Sorry for the big post.
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hmmmm mal du pays thoughts tonight
#radio rambles#i should go to bed but. it is on the mind#isat spoilers#<- for the . wall of tags to come#imm wondering what most people hc mdp to like. be#i know its most popular to see it as siffrins sadness. i do think thats p neat#and probably the intention#but im. juggling around the idea of? siffrin system moment? mdp as a headmate? if yall see that vision?#most inspired by that ‘do u hc this character as a system’ post abt siffrin#and i voted no then but now im like genuinely changing my mind JFKFKF#it makes sense in a way. and into my mdp hc that it. wouldve split while sif was very young#splitting due to stress which leads to a lot of. gestures vaguely. mdp’s whole thing#a mix of stress but also this sense of longing to. belong somewhere. to not be alone#many years ago it was about the loss of their home. and much later on became more related to its feelings towards their family#mdp is a scared child to me . idk about yalls hcs for it but thats what im sticking to#a scared child who maybe grew up a little alongside the body. but still Young and Scared#its not as often or eager to front as siffrin is. i can imagine it being much more hover-y or . POSSIBLY. cohosting if its feeling up to it#uhm. ok well#so i typed this out and now im actually really sad about mdp jgkdkf where is mdp recovery#now im kinda thinking about it fronting for once to properly meet the party and. and receiving comfort. and and and#wow christ im upset#also also glancing over at marias sibling au for character dynamics here….. sillies…..#ps not relevant to my mdp thoughts but fyi im imagining siffin in headspace looks very much like their body#the difference being. much darker clothes. more stars etc. maybe different hair#think like how a lot of ppl style their human loops. thats kinda how i imagine sif in headspace#SPEAKING OF LOOP#i think given the time he spent with them it woulf make sense if they split a loop as well#and ofc other members of the party jgkfkf#im not gonna get into my hcs there because ill b taking away from my mdp hc post BUT#thinking. always thinking
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oh come on, where’s my option to join forces and two team them? or cheer her on from the sidelines even. chie can wreck shit actually i don’t want to deny her that
#didn’t even have enough courage to hold her back i just HAD to step in#this just kinda sucks. it’s moderately Off#there’s just this nasty misogynistic undercurrent here#chie can fight her own battles. i wish i had the option to support her in them instead of taking them for her#this really rubs me the wrong way cause it feels like it’s a step to the left of doing anything interesting#chie’s learning the wrong lesson for this to be an (intentional and purposeful) example of misogyny she faces#and it’s too misogynistic to be ‘fighting isn’t always the answer and you’re not alone anymore’ like it’s trying to do#why is she thanking me i didn’t do shit. if anything i slighted her. this is simply not very good#rambles#p4g posting#this isn’t quite downright rancid but more than anything it’s just not very good writing#everything once she apologizes (which she shouldn’t do) feels like a completely different beat#chie i’m so sorry you’re in persona 4#i feel like i’m gonna have said that about every teammate
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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go
(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)
#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill#well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst#like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made#bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you#but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings#and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste#there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc#so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything#if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is#which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose#anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages#or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing#i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know#it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess#as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence#the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education#i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype#sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen#there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions#like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity#like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem#but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.
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sorry if this is terribly offensive but I dont get why the "men are bad" jokes (as long as they ARE jokes) are inherently bad
#I personally don't do them#But as a transman it never occurred to me that I should take offense abt them#Maybe its cuz i dont have much actual experience with others perceiving me as a transman and have others say things about it#But to me saying that is like telling people from latam to stop making jokes about gringos#Because then they'll have a “justification” to be racist and xenophobic to us#Like i saw a post the other day abt a guy saying “ooof being alt-right and thus being a bigot sounds SO tempting but i dont do it anyways”#And everynyan was like so true oomf#Like idk props to the guy for not being a bigot#But like. Wdym#Like to me “men are bad jokes” have always been against the Abstract Social Figure of A Man that the patriarchy benefits and not like#Actual men individually#Maybe that is just me not getting the intentions behind some of the jokes and ive been misunderstanding all this time#Like half of the people in my life (there are like. 7 which cannot be devided by 2) are men#Maybe when i transition and become older ill get it#If u want to discuss ill really appreciate it#Dear god the last thing i want to be is a terf#Please tell me if ive been brainwashed by terfs#I do understand that terms like “man” “woman” “nonbinary” and such essentially dont mean anything#And that everyone (including cis people) have a different gender because the gender binary isn't real#Which is why i identify as a bi gaybian#Maybe thas it y'know#Like last month there was an event in the country organized by the only queer group here#That was “women and nonbinary” only#Like. What does that mean. Like have u ever wondered what that means#They should invent a costarrican queer group that isn't so white queerish
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nigel & alex - to be haunted by your love
henri nouwen // like minds (2006) // death - melanie martinez // pope alexander - crywank // her mother's kiss - eugene carriere // sometimes i fall asleep thinking about you - catarine hancock // the song of achilles - madeline miller // achilles lamenting the death of patroclus - gavin hamilton // lee martens
#am i happy with this? no. am i posting anyway? you bet your ass i am#another largely experimental post so take it with a grain of salt#honestly i could've just posted the achilles comparison part on its own and liked it better#cause that's really the part i wanted to get to#BUT the song lyrics are so load-bearing to this post. they started the whole thing. so it didn't feel right kicking them to the curb#so you get the whole shamozle lmao#anyway this post is more or less a take on the idea of when people say no one ever truly dies so long as your memory of them lives on#so long as you always carry your love for them in your heart#and how it's always meant to be a good thing you know? a positive thing#but what happens when it's not. what happens when their memory is a weight you drag forward? when that love is a haunting#when an absence becomes a presence in of itself#and you wish you could be rid of it. but you can't. and now they're in everything you do. they're everywhere you go#a permeation over every aspect of your life? how are you supposed to handle that kind of feeling#in the end this was more or less me scratching an itch wondering what life for alex was like after nigel was gone#and how fundamentally nigel does end up gaining immortality by living on in alex's memory#and arguably by becoming a part of him too#maybe my brain just hasn't fully recovered yet from being sick 🤡#like minds#murderous intent#nigel colbie#alex forbes#web weave#quotes
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